It happens to the best of us. One minute, you’re rope dropping in the early AM and riding the mountains till the late PM. The next, you’re popping Dramamine before you hit the teacups and chowing down on an extra side of Tums with your Casey’s Corner footlong. But just because you’re a bit older today than you were yesterday, doesn’t mean it is time to write off Walt Disney World. In fact, now is the time… dare I say… “now is the best time” to embrace all those ‘grownup attractions’ you passed on back in the day. Just think, there is a whole other side of Walt Disney World you’ve yet to explore!
Today, we are going to examine one attraction per gate (Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, Disney’s Hollywood Studios, Disney’s Animal Kingdom Theme Park) that can be enjoyed by all ages, yet… cater to the more… shall we say…. seasoned demographic? These hidden gems give you more than just a wonderfully themed attraction, they also provide a bit of peace and quiet throughout the park and rarely climb above a fifteen-minute wait time! How is that for a game changer?!?!
With each suggested locale we will uncover a bit about the attraction, why we love it, a few historical factoids, give a little extra credit for those of you who are feeling up to the challenge, and lastly, seal it with our Disney Adulting Rating, signifying just how ‘mature’ each attraction really may be.
Disney Adulting Rating
- 1 Mickey Bar – Toto, I don’t think we’re in our twenties anymore.
- 2 Mickey Bars – Was Florida always this hot?
- 3 Mickey Bars – No, seriously… where’s the shade?
- 4 Mickey Bars – Honey, have you seen my DVC pill holder keychain?
- 5 Mickey Bars – I liked it better when Mickey was in Black and white.
So, grab your inhaler, strap on that knee brace, and ask your kids how to silence your cell phone. Because it is time to do some Disney Adulting!
Magic Kingdom's Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress
If you have been skipping over John, Rover, and the rest of the gang throughout the years, then you have been missing out, my friend!
Attraction
Carousel of Progress is an audio-animatronic stage show that follows an average American family over four generations. While some elements of the show may feel a bit dated, it actually holds up rather well and could be considered timeless. The central theme focuses on how modern technology has the uncanny ability to transform our everyday lives.
This one-of-a-kind presentation takes place inside a revolving theatre where the audience is transported around a 360-stationary stage between each act.
Tidbits
Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress is the oldest running stage show in the history of American theatre.
Believe it or not, Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress is not an opening-day attraction. However, it does have Walt’s fingerprints all over it, as it originally debuted in the 1964-1965 New York World’s Fair.
The voice of Father is portrayed by Jean Shepherd. If that name doesn’t ring a bell, the voice sure will. You’ll recognize him as the narrator from the holiday film, “A Christmas Story.”
What’s To Like?
- 20 minutes off your feet
- dark theatre
- comfy seating
- air conditioning
- corny Dad humour
- nothing jarring
What’s To Love?
The fact is, as we age, we seem to become a bit more sceptical. Modern-day miracles become old hat and useful conveniences share shelf space with a whole heap of ‘what-have-ya-done-for-me-lately.’ But, if you look past some of the banter that forcibly plays hopscotch throughout an otherwise heartfelt script, you will find that Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress shows us a view of the world through an optimist’s eyes. Innocent and unassuming, this attraction pays homage to the power of progress, proving that our better days are still ahead of us! Brimming with wonderment and awe, it is downright impossible to leave this attraction without feeling a touch uplifted.
Old(Extra Credit)
If you’ve been feeling a little extra crunchy lately, drop by Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress with a few minutes to spare. You’ll be delighted to find a mini-making of-documentary playing outside the theatre on a continuous loop prior to showtime, featuring the Sherman Brothers and the man behind the mouse, Walt Disney.
DA Rating
We give this attraction 3 out of 5 Mickey Bars!
EPCOT's Living with the Land
It is hard to find old-school edutainment inside the Disney parks these days. Fortunately, EPCOT still has a few golden nuggets for us ol’ fogies out there.
Attraction
Take a boat ride through EPCOT’s greenhouse and experience the future of farming. See how Walt Disney World horticulturalists are employing innovative growing techniques and crossbreeding crops to help aid our future generations from starvation and continue to feed our ever-growing planet. In addition, you’ll get an up-close view of a fish farm, featuring hybrid striped bass, tilapia, catfish and freshwater shrimp.
Tidbits
Living with the Land is an EPCOT Center opening day attraction! However, purists would have us point out that it was originally called Listen to the Land.
Sunshine Seasons and Garden Grill Restaurant serve the very same fresh produce and seafood grown within The Land Pavilion!
Why We Like It
- Tranquil boat ride
- Educational
- Food-motivated
Why We Love It
If you are a foodie who loves Disney, you just can’t beet this attraction! For starters, it contains animatronics, as well as several delicately designed dioramas that provide a dramatic backdrop for each vignette. In addition, it opens our eyes to an endless array of possibilities in the ways of horticulture.
Sure, an attraction about vegetation may sound like a bit of a lemon. But we assure you that some of the fun facts that you will learn while onboard Living with the Land are nothing short of mind-blowing.
Old (Extra Credit)
Can’t get enough? Try Behind the Seeds, a one-hour tour of the fish farm and 4 greenhouses that make up The Land Pavilion. This 90-minute tour provides guests with a more in-depth view of the latest plant-growing techniques, including hydroponics. You’ll even be gifted with an exclusive handout that includes some great ideas for your own garden!
DA Rating
We give this a 4 out of 5 Mickey Bars!
Disney’s Hollywood Studios Walt Disney: One Man’s Dream
This is hands down the single most important attraction in all of Walt Disney World. Now, that may sound a bit silly. After all, it is more or less a museum set smack-dab in the middle of a magnum opus brimming with jejune frivolity. However, part of what makes Walt Disney World (as well as Disneyland) magical, is that it was born out of one’s imagination and turned into a realityland.
In many ways, Walt Disney is the American dream personified and proof that dreams sometimes still come true. What could be more important than that?
Attraction
A vibrant walk-through exhibit that explores Walt Disney’s life, showcasing sketches, photos, models, costumes, artwork, and more!
Tidbits
- This attraction originally opened to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Walt’s birth.
Why We Like It
- Air Conditioning
- Museum
- Historical
- Move at your own pace
Why We Love It
No matter how old you are, there is something in this exhibit that harkens back to your childhood and will warm the cockles of your heart. It reconnects us with the past, something we long for as we get further and further from it. Trust us, you will leave this attraction with a newfound appreciation for the man, the mouse, and the most magical place on Earth.
Old (xtra Credit)
This experiential museum includes a short film that explores Walt Disney’s extraordinary journey from a small-town boy to a tycoon in the entertainment industry, entitled Walt Disney: One Man’s Dream. This 15-minute biography features audio recordings, historical footage and rarely-seen home movies. If you’re looking to rekindle that spark of inspiration or simply learn more about an unstoppable dreamer, this film is a must-do!
You can catch this 15-minute documentary at almost any time, as it plays continuously throughout the day!
DA Rating
We give this a 5 out of 5 Mickey Bars!
Disney’s Animal Kingdom's Conservation Station
Ah, Disney’s Animal Kingdom Theme Park… the theme park that swears that it is not a zoo… despite the fact that… it is a zoo.
Ahhhh…. I’m just monkeying around!
Truth is, to say that Disney’s Animal Kingdom Theme Park is the unsung hero of the Disney theme park world is the understatement of a lifetime. I mean, have you ever stopped to consider what an immense responsibility it must be to care for such a large menagerie of animals?!?! If you’ve lived enough life to be reading an article about activities for ageing theme park fans, then you’re old enough to deserve a hot second of respite from the Yeti and go visit the real kings of the jungle… Disney’s leading team of veterinarians, scientists, and nutritionists!
Attraction
Take a lap around the Veterinary Treatment Room where you watch procedures in mid-process, including routine examinations, dental procedures, and radiography. Then, head to the Nutrition Center where you can catch a glimpse of mealtime experts preparing food for the park’s residents. And be sure not to miss out on the Science Center, where you can check out what the resident scientists are working on.
Tidbits
- Conservation Station is only accessible via the Wildlife Express Train.
- The Conservation Station is a Disney’s Animal Kingdom Theme Park opening day attraction!
Why We Like It
- Educational
Why We Love It
Sure, we all have a cuddly soft spot in our hearts for animals. But the team over at the Conservation Station have dedicated their lives to our furr-ific friends. Frankly, it is just downright overwhelming to witness such kindness and care.
Old (Extra Credit)
Here is a little Old AF (Extra Credit) that you can do from the comfort of your own home! “Magic of Disney’s Animal Kingdom” from National Geographic, gives fans an insider look at the magic of nature within Disney’s Animal Kingdom Theme Park, Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge and The Seas with Nemo & Friends at EPCOT, featuring over 300 species and 5,000-plus animals cared for by Walt Disney World Resorts very own team!
DA Rating
We give this a 2 out of 5 Mickey Bars!
So, as you can see… Disney Adulting can be pretty fun!
What do Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress, Living with the Land, Walt Disney: One Man’s Dream, and Animal Kingdom’s Conservation Station all have in common? They are all about adaptation, evolution, and survival. And let’s face it, you haven’t survived this long without a little evaluation and adaptation of your own, now have you? But remember… no matter the coasters you skip over or naps you need to take along the park benches of Main Street, U.S.A., just because you’re Disney Adulting now, doesn’t mean you need to stop believing in faith, trust, and pixie dust!
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